Wizarding Doll Harry Potter Owner's Manual
by Capricia
Summary: An Owner's Manual oneshot inspired by Diamond Mask's Owner's Guide and Maintance Manual series. revised and complete.


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing save the effort put into making this drabble, the template is courtesy of _**Diamond Mask**_ and the characters and situations belong to JK Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Bros, various other publishing companies, and the fantabulous people of the Harry Potter Fandom.

_Wizarding Doll Harry Potter Owner's Manual_

**CONGRATULATIONS! **

You are now the proud owner of your very own **BOY-WHO-LIVED**, HARRY POTTER Wizarding Doll. To get the maximum enjoyment out of your new HARRY POTTER and to avoid any nasty or unfortunate mishaps please read the following manual very carefully.

**Technical Specifications**

Name: Harry Potter a.k.a the BOY-WHO-LIVED, SCARHEAD, Mr. Potter, THE GOLDEN BOY, and the CHOSEN ONE

Age: 11-17 (see programming)

Place of manufacture: Godric's Hallow, Gryffindor House

Height: stunted

Weight: light

**Accessories**:

One wand: phoenix core 13 inches

One Hogwarts Student Uniform© (resizable)

One Nimbus 2000 racing broom (warrantee lasts three years only)

One 7 volume magical education curriculum (see programming)

**Removing your HARRY POTTER from his box:**

Your HARRY POTTER will arrive in small and cramped crate very reminiscent of his original home the "CUPBARD-UNDER-THE-STAIRS" thus making removing you're new Harry Potter very simple, simple rap sharply on the door and your HARRY POTTER should come out meekly. If your Harry Potter refuses or comes out wand blazing then he has accidentally unlocked his own OUT OF CHARACTER mode, do your best to incapacitate him and send him back to the factory for re-programming.

Once you have your HARRY POTTER out of his crate hand him his identification certificate or his "Hogwarts Letter" and prepare to program you're new doll to be the perfect companion.

**Programming**

Your HARRY POTTER has a variety of stages and functions each meant to utilize your personal enjoyment and maximize your experience with your new doll. (Some functions and modes are age moderated see Wizard in Training below.)

Housekeeper: Due to a childhood spent with neglectful, lazy, and uncaring relatives your HARRY POTTER is a master at the upkeep of your household. Able to do a number of household chores like cooking, cleaning, gardening, laundry and more you're HARRY POTTER, is a valuable housekeeper that will make your home the envy of your neighborhood.

Wizard in Training: Your HARRY POTTER has come in his default Pre-Hogwarts stage. Once you have released him from his packaging and present him with his "Hogwarts Letter" he will be ready to learn magic. Enclosed with you Harry Potter is a 7 year magical curriculum. This means by the time your HARRY POTTER has successfully downloaded the entire curriculum he will be a fully trained wizard capable of doing any number of Magical feats for your entertainment, convenience, and protection. Each "year" of magical education takes 2 weeks to fully assimilate, meaning by the end of a 14 week period your HARRY POTTER will be a fully trained wizard.

_Please note:_ the 7 year magical curriculum is a standard curriculum geared toward a fairly basic magical education. If you would like you Harry Potter to have a specific function, say an Auror or Quidditch Player you will need to purchase additional programming.

Magical Teacher: Please keep in mind this is directly proportional to the level of learning you're HARRY POTTER doll has completed, it is therefore advised that you wait until your Harry Potter has reached at least "fourth-fifth year" level magic education. Once there your Harry Potter will be happy to teach other Dolls Defense Against the Dark Arts or other magical arts.

Snake Charmer: Due to his ability to speak Parseltounge your HARRY POTTER will make an excellent snake charmer and will wow friends and strangers alike with his talents.

Bodyguard: Your HARRY POTTER is a great protector and bodyguard as he has a tendency toward a hero-complex naturally and is always eager to save others from "Death Eaters or Voldemort"

Professional Athlete: due to his love of Quidditch you HARRY POTTER would make an excellent professional athlete, especially a soccer player.

**Modes**:

Reckless (default)

Angry

Stubborn

Protective

Nosy (default)

Charismatic

Brooding

Slash (_locked_)

Out of Character (_locked_)

Given his magical nature and his less than ideal upbringing, your HARRY POTTER is prone to a decided lack of respect for authority and a tendency toward rule breaking and brooding. This is considered perfectly normal especially as you're HARRY POTTER reaches his teen years.

The OUT OF CHARACTER mode is usually used to activate one of two functions, your Harry Potter's Slash Mode or using one of his customization upgrades. (See customizations)

Your Harry Potter's slash mode is generally unlocked around 4th to 5th year (14-15 years old) and depending on the character you wish you're Harry Potter to err. pair with it can be easy or hard. The most common pairings and the easiest to manage are pairings with DRACO MALFOY, RON WEASELY, CEDRIC DIGGORY, or NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM. These pairings only you require you to get your HARRY POTTER to spend "quality time" with one of the other dolls. Be forewarned in the case of the DRACO MALFOY doll make sure there are no sharp, heavy, or extremely breakable objects nearby and be prepared for lots of shouting. Now if you wish to pair your HARRY POTTER with any other male Doll you will have to unlock his Out of Character mode.

**Customizations**

Your HARRY POTTER has a wide variety of customizations available. Please note that all upgrades require additional purchases.

Slytherin Harry: this is the cheapest customization and the easiest to integrate into your HARRY POTTER. This is your HARRY POTTER if he let his ambitious, cunning, or sneaky sides have fuller reign. Since he's already half-Slytherin this is an easiest customization to achieve. Be forewarned he does tend to be more calculating and shrewd in this customization.

Super Power/Mage Harry: This is the customization that boosts your HARRY POTTER to super wizard status. Your HARRY POTTER will have mage-level magic and be able to do many a miraculous thing by simply wishing it. The Super Power/Mage Harry comes in Mage, Wand less-Mage, Founder's Heir, Merlin's Heir, and Elemental Mage options.

Ninja Harry: Your HARRY POTTER as a kick ass shinobi. In this stage he interacts well with the Shinobi Units© of the Hidden Leaf Village. This customization also comes with crime boss and assassin options.

Fairy Harry: This is the gay HARRY POTTER option for those who don't want to trust to the Out of Character and slash setting. It comes with closet, coming out, confused, and flamboyant gay settings.

Magical Creature Harry: Ever wanted an ELF or a HARPY? Well with this customization you're Harry POTTER can be any of the following magical creatures: Vampire, Werewolf, Elf, Elemental, Harpy, Dragon, Veela, Fairy (the winged kind), Incubus, Hybrid (mixture of creatures like an Elf/Veela), Neko, Hanyou or you can even purchase a customized magical creature.

Also you can get the following upgrades to your standard Harry Potter:

Auror, Animagus, Quidditch Player, and DADA Teacher.

**Relationships with Light Dolls**

HERMIONE GRANGER: This is one of your HARRY POTTER dolls best friends, the smartest witch in her generation she is constantly on your Harry Potter to follow the rules, do his homework, and think before he acts. You're HARRY POTTER will spend hours on end getting into mischief and adventure's with both the HERMIONE GRANGER doll and the RON WEASELY doll.

RON WEASELY: Your HARRY POTTER's first human friend he is loyal but prone to fits of jealousy and suspicion. Be prepared to have to soothe you're HARRY POTTER's hurt or betrayed feelings when the RON WEASELY doll is in one of his jealous sulks, or make sure you have a HERMIONE GRANGER doll on hand to mediate.

RUBEUS HAGRID: A loveable half-giant that is another friend of your HARRY POTTER. Hagrid is a Care of Magical Creatures professor prone to showing you're HARRY POTTER terrifying and dangerous monsters. However he's also good at doing sweet and endearing things that will lift you're HARRY POTTER out of his brooding mode.

_Please note_: don't allow the HAGRID doll to cook for your HARRY POTTER doll and keep him away from all forms of alcohol.

REMUS LUPIN: This quiet and mild mannered werewolf is one of your HARRY POTTER's favorite adults. He was a friend of your HARRY POTTER's deceased parents and taught your HARRY POTTER the Patronus Charm. The REMUS LUPIN is an excellent male role model for your HARRY POTTER and will help you keep him in line during his pesky teen years. However do note that the REMUS LUPIN doll goes through monthly transformations that leave him sickly and weak.

SIRIUS BLACK: This is your HARRY POTTER's beloved godfather. An escaped convict from the terrible Wizarding prison Azkaban he has unfortunately been unable to look after you're HARRY POTTER for many years. He is your HARRY POTTER's beloved father figure/fun-loving uncle. He will help you protect and care for your HARRY POTTER but be warned he is a prankster at heart and has spent many years in prison causing him to be impulsive and overprotective.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE: The kindly old man who first left your HARRY POTTER at the doorsteps of his neglectful relatives this doll is an unpredictable addition to your HARRY POTTER's life. At times your HARRY POTTER will respect and look up to this benevolent figure, however at other times he will go into full brooding mode at the mere sight of an ALBUS DUMBLEDORE and proceeded to go into fits of temper and depression. Thus it's always a good idea to introduce an ALBUS DUMBLEDORE slowly and hopefully with either an REMUS LUPIN or a HERMIONE GRANGER nearby.

WEASELY FAMILY: This set includes AUTHUR, MOLLY, CHARLIE, BILL, FRED, GEORGE, PERCY, RON and GINNY WEASELY. This is your HARRY POTTER's surrogate family and he is quiet happy to visit them often.

**Relationships with Dark Dolls**

SEVERUS SNAPE: This is the brooding, spiteful, and short-tempered POTIONS MASTER of Hogwarts and one of your HARRY POTTER's reluctant guardians. The SEVERUS SNAPE is often cruel to your HARRY POTTER because of the belief that he is a spoilt arrogant self-centered celebrity much like his father. Your SEVERUS SNAPE loves nothing more than giving your HARRY POTTER detentions and mock and belittle him in front of others. However don't be fooled deep down your SEVERUS SNAPE is rather fond of your HARRY POTTER and his is always willing to aid in keeping you're HARRY POTTER out of danger.

DRACO MALFOY: This unit is your HARRY POTTER's school boy rival. He is constantly taunting your HARRY POTTER and trying to get him in trouble or show him up. Expect a lot of fireworks when ever these two are together. Especially if both happen to be in their Slash modes ;D

BELATRIX LESTRANG: This escaped prisoner madwoman is one of your HARRY POTTER's most hated enemies. Because she killed his beloved godfather expect any meeting between these two to end in bloodshed and curses flying.

PETER PETEGREW: This sniveling little rat-like traitor is another sore point for your HARRY POTTER. This is the unit that framed your HARRY POTTER's godfather and helped to kidnap your unit to resurrect VOLDEMORT. Be extra vigilante for this unit as it has the ability to transform into a garden rat. However if you do manage to catch one skulking about let your resident SIRIUS BLACK handle him.

VOLDEMORT: The man that killed your HARRY POTTER's parents and regularly makes attempts on your doll's life while trying to take over the world and cleanse the world of those of "impure blood". If you happen to spot him do your best to let your local ALBUS DUMBLEDORE or the ORDER of the PHOENIX doll set know immediately, however don't be surprised if your HARRY POTTER as already left to do battle with his sworn enemy.

_Note:_ to keep any stray Dark Dolls from capturing, maiming, or killing your HARRY POTTER Doll you can purchase a BLOOD WARD set© or a FIDELUS CHARM© to hide your house and property. Also if a nearby VOLDEMORT is attempting to disturb your HARRY POTTER's precious beauty sleep hire a SEVERUS SNAPE to teach him the art of OCCULMENCY.

**Cleaning**

Your HARRY POTTER is quite capable of cleaning himself. However as the unit matures he is perfectly happy to allow you to join him in the shower and may even let you help him bathe.

**Feeding**

Your HARRY POTTER comes in his pre-Hogwarts state of malnutrition so be sure to feed him three square meals a day of healthy food. Also note that he is a growing boy and learning how to use magic so once you start him on his magical curriculum he will need an energy boosting diet.

**Rest **

Your Harry Potter suffers from terrible nightmares, so feel free to offer him a place beside you in bed so you can soothe him when he wakes in the middle of the night.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: My HARRY POTTER keeps going around asking for his "Lily Flower" and calling for some people named "Moony, Padfoot, and Wormtail" what's his deal?

A: Oops. You must have received a young JAMES POTTER instead of a HARRY POTTER. Look at your dolls eyes if they are a hazel instead of an emerald green then send him back and make sure to be clear in your next order.

Q: My HARRY POTTER keeps going off on his own and mumbling about things called "Horocrux's" what's going on?

A: Has your HARRY POTTER been talking to a local ALBUS DUMBLEDORE? If so your HARRY POTTER believes he is the CHOSEN ONE prophesized to take down the Dark Lord Voldemort by capturing and destroying the seven pieces of his soul. There are two ways you can stop this behavior, purchase a Horocrux Set© which will allow your HARRY POTTER to destroy the pieces of VOLDEMORT's soul. If you wish a safer alternative simply reprogram your HARRY POTTER and make sure to explain to him that the so called prophecy was so much hogwash and ALBUS DUMBLEDORE is a senile old coot.

Q: I want my HARRY and my DRACO MALFOY to get together and give me gorgeous blonde haired-green eyed babies, how is that possible?

A: Well all you have to do is purchase an Mpreg Potion© or a Magical Creature customization. After that make sure both units are in their Slash modes and throw them in a room together. Pretty soon, after a few good shouting matches, you should have a couple of blonde-haired green-eyed cherubs running about.

Q: My HARRY POTTER is very lonely and I can't afford to buy another doll, what can I do?

A: You HARRY POTTER are a very affectionate doll and loves being around other dolls. If you can't afford a second doll try sending him to a neighboring WEASELY FAMILY for some family bonding or purchase a HEDWIG owl doll and try spending more time with him.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: Your HARRY POTTER keeps making random things explode, blow up, and change color while shouting about "stupid prophecies" and "meddling old men".

Solution: Your HARRY POTTER has become locked in his Angry or Brooding mode. The quickest way to calm him down is to introduce a HERMIONE GRANGER or RON WEASELY they should help bring him out of his funk. Also keep all ALBUS DUMBLEDOR's well away from him during this period.

Problem: You accidentally say the word "freak" or "boy" in your HARRY POTTER's presence and now he's locked himself in a closet and refuses to come out.

Solution: Shame on you, you've reminded your Harry Potter of his traumatizing past with his abusive relatives. First erase the words "freak", "boy", and "useless", etc. from your vocabulary. Then convince your HARRY POTTER that you're not his relatives and you are very happy to have him and love him very much. If that isn't enough give him a hug.

Problem: Your HARRY POTTER is being stalked by the local GINNY WEASELY and COLIN CREEVEY as well as a mass number of other fangirls.

Solution: Oh dear this has been known to happen as your HARRY POTTER is very desirable doll, however if you wish to get rid of these pesky stalkers simply do one of the following.

Either unlock his Slash mode an pair him up with a SEVERUS SNAPE, LUCIUS MALFOY, or DRACO MALFOY as all these units are extremely possessive or purchase a SIRIUS BLACK and allow him to go all protective godfather on their arses.

**Final Note**

As you HARRY POTTER is a certified Wizarding Doll© he will provide you with many years of companionship and enjoyment. However he will also remain around for years to come long after your gone, so to avoid ugly custody disputes be sure to be very specific in your will which of your decedents will receive your HARRY POTTER after your gone.


End file.
